


This Is What You Get with a Drunk Kenta

by RaRaYuu



Series: Initial D (The D stands for Dick) [1]
Category: Initial D
Genre: Disregard the distances between the different mountains, Like the events happen but with modern technology, Modern Era, OOC, Why the fuck is Seiji not a legit character tab like what the fuck, no beta we die like real men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-07-24 01:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16170650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaRaYuu/pseuds/RaRaYuu
Summary: RunningInThe90s: I thought you were dealing with KentaWalkingInThe80s: Im on my third shot of vodka





	1. Welcome to The Pits of Hell

Ken You Not?: Hey Keisuke

~~~

RunningInThe90s: I thought you were dealing with Kenta

WalkingInThe80s: Im on my third shot of vodka

RunningInThe90s: Oh boi

~~~

RunningInThe90s: What?

Ken You Not?: We should create a group chat

Ken You Not?: With the Panda Trueno, everyone’s phone numbers you have and random strangers off the street

~~~

RunningInThe90s: I’m joining you

WalkingInThe80s: Ok

WalkingInThe80s: Vodka or wine?

~~~

Ken You Not? has added Nocturnal Tofu Delivery, Certified Idiot, Eternal Bachelor, WalkingInThe80s, RunningInThe90s, Make Me, SaSaSayonara, Ringo, and ImNotEmo

RunningInThe90s: Nope

RunningInThe90s has left the chat

Ken You Not? has added RunningInThe90s to the chat

RunningInThe90s has left the chat

Ken You Not? has added RunningInThe90s to the chat

RunningInThe90s has left the chat

Ken You Not? has added RunningInThe90s to the chat

WalkingInThe80s: This is very entertaining

RunningInThe90s: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ken You Not?: stay :)

RunningInThe90s: I’m now terrified

~~~

SaSaSayonara: what the fuck is this?

RunningInThe90s: Hell

SaSaSayonara: oh

SaSaSayonara: ok

 

WalkingInThe80s has added EmperorPenguin to the chat

WalkingInThe80s: I’m not suffering alone

EmperorPenguin:

EmperorPenguin: what the fuck

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery:

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Why am I even here?

Certified Idiot: Wait

Certified Idiot: Both the Rotary Brothers are here?!

Certified Idiot: AM I OFFICIALLY FAMOUS YET?????!!!!!!

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery:

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: How do I leave?

~~~

Takumi: I’m in a group chat now I’m suffering

Natsu~: ooooooooooh!!!

Natsu~: Can Natsuki join?

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery has added Natsu~ to the group chat

Natsu~ has changed the group chat to Dank Dreams Broken Memes

Natsu~: Woah!!!

Natsu~: These are your friends?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Nope

Natsu~: @everyone Please introduce yourselves!!!

Natsu~: Natsuki isn’t very good with names!!!

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I’m Takumi

Natsu~: Idiot!!! Natsuki already knows your name!!!

Certified Idiot: I’m Itsuki

Certified Idiot: I didn’t choose this name

Certified Idiot: I also don’t know how to change it

Eternal Bachelor: Hi I’m Iketani and I’m not a serial killer

Eternal Bachelor: I also didn’t choose this name

Ken You Not?: Hi I’m Kenta

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Hi I hate you

RunningInThe90s: At least I’m not the only one

RunningInThe90s: I’m Keisuke

RunningInThe90s: Ryousuke’s passed out on the couch

Ringo: ???

RunningInThe90s: He’s bad at holding his liquor

Ringo: ah

Ringo: Takeshi is the same way

Ringo: I’m Shingo and I also hate Kenta

Ken You Not?: :(

ImNotEmo: This is just the Kenta Hate Club at this point

ImNotEmo:

ImNotEmo has changed Dank Dreams Broken Memes to Kenta Hate Club

ImNotEmo: Also @Ringo stop ruining my reputation

EmperorPenguin: I don’t know why I’m here

EmperorPenguin: I’m Kyoichi and I also hate Kenta

Make Me: Who’s Kenta?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Itsuki but worse

Certified Idiot: !!!

Certified Idiot: Mako?!

Make Me: Hi

Certified Idiot: I like how Iketani threw his phone out the car

Certified Idiot: Takumi’s just staring with this ‘wtf?’ expression on his face as he’s driving  
  
Certified Idiot: We’re never gonna see that phone again

SaSaSayonara: !!!

SaSaSayonara: Hi Takumi~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I really want to leave now

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF HALLOWEEN

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ringo: I

Ringo: I’ve never seen Takumi so

ImNotEmo: excited?

SaSaSayonara: alive?

Make Me: human?

RunningInThe90s: awake?

RunningInThe90s: also it’s technically the 31st day of Halloween

Natsu~: ???

Ken You Not?: Halloween for the Red Suns starts on Spetember 1st

RunningInThe90s: If people are going to play Christmas music from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day, I’m gonna blast Spetember, Spooky Scary Skeletons, and This is Halloween on repeat for 61 days

~~~

Eternal Bachelor: @Ringo what is even with your name?

Eternal Bachelor: Why are you named Apple?

Ringo: Shingo

Ken You Not?: ???

Ringo: Ringo

Eternal Bachelor: ???

Ringo: ShingoTheRingo

ImNotEmo: I came up with it

Ringo: DON’T TELL THEM

RunningInThe90s: I hear shrieking from here and I’m now mildly concerned for Takeshi’s health

~~~

Eternal Bachelor: I’m now mildly concerned for Takumi

Certified Idiot: Why???

Eternal Bachelor: I’m on the pass rn and he pulls up in the AE86, right?

Certified Idiot: And???

Eternal Bachelor: He gets out of the car and he’s playing Pokemon Go

Certified Idiot: He’s an addict don’t judge him

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: The pass has some good ‘mons, k?

~~~

EmperorPenguin: @RunningInThe90s

EmperorPenguin: Is Ryousuke ok???

RunningInThe90s: He’s still passed out on the couch

EmperorPenguin: It’s been two days???

RunningInThe90s: Like I said

RunningInThe90s: He’s really bad at holding his liquor

~~~

WalkingInThe80s: Fuck what day is it?

RunningInThe90s: It’s October 3rd at 8 pm

Running In The 90s: You’ve been out for three days

WalkingInThe80s: fuck I missed the first three days of Halloween


	2. I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: My wheels are made of Flex Tape
> 
> WalkingInThe80s: Well that explains why I lost to you

Natsu~: You should tell the chat what happened

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Let’s not

Certified Idiot: I’m now curious

Eternal Bachelor: ???

Certified Idiot: Ryousuke wanted to see Takumi, so Takumi went over to their place, right?

Eternal Bachelor: And?

Certified Idiot: idk ask Takumi

Eternal Bachelor: Tell me or I’m stabbing you with a plastic spoon

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: So

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I get there

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: And since both of them don’t ever answer the door

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I just use their spare key

Ken You Not?: Lucky

Ken You Not?: They never let me do that

Certified Idiot: it might be because you suck

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I walk in

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: and what I see is absolutely terrifying

Certified Idiot: What???

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: It’s Ryousuke, Keisuke, Mako, Sayuki, Shingo, and Takeshi dancing along to some European Disco music

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Ryousuke’s dressed up as Genghis Khan I think

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Keisuke’s shirtless

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: The rest of them are dressed up as the Ghostbusters but with plague doctor masks

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: and Ryousuke’s like ridiculously good at dancing

Eternal Bachelor: Then what happened?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I turned around and walked out and drove home in silence

WalkingInThe80s: Fuck

Certified Idiot: Ryousuke curses?

WalkingInthe80s: I’ll pay for the gas

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: It’s fine

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I just need mental bleach

WalkingInThe80s: because we were amazing dancers?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Not that

~~~

Natsu: It’s because of Keisuke, isn’t it?~

Takumi: FUCK

~~~

Ken You Not: If you’re doing the Naruto Run

RunningInThe90s: Kenta no

Ken You Not: 

Ken You Not: T.T

RunningInThe90s: Wow

RunningInThe90s: He actually listened for once

~~~

WalkingInThe80s: @Nocturnal Tofu Delivery

WalkingInThe80s: Question

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Oh boy

WalkingInThe80s: What do you listen to when you’re racing?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: 

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Eurowave

Certified Idiot: ???

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Eurobeat and Vaporwave

WalkingInThe80s: 

WalkingInThe80s: huh

WalkingInThe80s: Was not expecting that

Certified Idiot: @everybody what you guys listen to??

Certified Idiot: The last I listened to music and drifted, I lost half of my car

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: His engine is held together by duct tape

Certified Idiot: So now me and Takumi match

RunningInThe90s: ???

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: My wheels are made of Flex Tape

WalkingInThe80s: Well that explains why I lost to you

WalkingInThe80s: I listen to podcasts over nuclear physics 

RunningInThe90s: Stop lying bruh

RunningInThe90s: He actually listens to the Spice Girls

RunningInThe90s: And nothing else

WalkingInThe80s:

WalkingInThe80s: I had a reputation you know

RunningInThe90s: I listen to the High School Musical soundtrack

Eternal Bachelor: I don’t listen to anything either

Eternal Bachelor: Not that into music

EmperorPenguin: I also listen to the Spice Girls

EmperorPenguin: And occasionally Backstreet Boys

Eternal Bachelor: I’m making a playlist as we speak

Eternal Bachelor: If I listen to this, I’ll surely be better at drifting

Ringo: I listen to 80’s rock

Natsu~: Are we talking Journey or Queen?

Ringo: Both

SaSaSayonara: Floral Shoppe

Ringo: boi

Ringo: That’s my jam

SaSaSayonara: thx but I’m more of a peanut butter person

Ringo: Takeshi listens to Tokio Hotel and MCR lol

ImNotEmo: youre dead

Make Me: And he’s now offline

Make Me: I listen to this

Make Me: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ5GNHvxKoRNRgWEnG8SFXBJLCD4WayHq

Make Me: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ5GNHvxKoRO7mMudbLxD7pXKql4vwILp

Certified Idiot: Also @Nocturnal Tofu Delivery

Certified Idiot: When you were racing Kenta you played regular eurobeat

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: We were racing in the rain

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: So I had to spite him somehow

RunningInThe90s: The chats living up to its name lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading right before Hurricane Michael drowns my state so rip this chat possibly.
> 
> (And yes I believe that Takumi canonically played Night of Fire just to spite Kenta)
> 
> USERNAMES:
> 
> Takumi: Nocturnal Tofu Delivery/ Takumi/ Panda  
> Istuki: Certified Idiot/ Itsuki Shut Up Already/ Polar Bear  
> Iketani: Eternal Bachelor  
> Ryousuke: WalkingInThe80s/ White Comet/ Aniki  
> Keisuke: RunningInThe90s/ SunBear  
> Kenta: Ken You Not?  
> Mako: Make Me  
> Sayuki: SaSaSayonara  
> Kyoichi: EmperorPenguin/ AniEvo  
> Shingo: Ringo  
> Takeshi: ImNotEmo  
> Natsuki: Natsu~


	3. Takumi x Kitchenware; The New OTP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itsuki Shut Up Already: YOU’RE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO PANS????
> 
> Takumi: WAIT

Itsuki Shut Up Already: And that’s how I figured out how I was bi

Takumi: Huh

Takumi: I’m actually pan myself

Itsuki Shut Up Already: YOU’RE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO PANS????

Takumi: WAIT

Takumi: WHAT

~~~

Certified Idiot: @everybody

Certified Idiot: GUYS TAKUMI’S SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO PANS

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: THAT’S NOT WHAT PANSEXUAL MEANS

Certified Idiot: Wait

Certified Idiot: Then what does it mean???

WalkingInThe80s: Pansexual (Adjective) -not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.  
noun  
noun: pansexual; plural noun: pansexuals; noun: pan-sexual; plural noun: pan-sexuals  
1\. a pansexual person  
Certified Idiot: So it doesn’t include kitchenware?

WalkingInThe80s: No kitchenware are involved

Certified Idiot: Well then

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Well

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Since Itsuki yeeted me out the closet

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: He be bi

WalkingInThe80s: Nice

WalkingInThe80s: I’m gay personally

SaSaSayonara: Well there goes my fanfiction

SaSaSayonara: And 20 dollars, two lint balls, and my Pokemon Card collection

Make Me: Hand it over bitch

~~~

Aniki: It looks like you do have a chance

Keisuke: Bruh

Aniki: dw I have the vodka ready

~~~

SaSaSayonara: @Nocturnal Tofu Delivery I’m also pan

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Perish

Make Me: I is a bi

Make Me: Also where’s Iketani?

Certified Idiot: He threw his phone out earlier

Certified Idiot: Still hasn’t found it 

Certified Idiot: it’s a good day if he doesn’t throw it

EmperorPenguin: I am also gay

~~~

White Comet: I would hope so Kyoichi

AniEvo: lol 

~~~

Ringo: I’m demi

ImNotEmo: Same

Ken You Not?: I’m a carsexual

RunningInThe90s: 

RunningInThe90s: kenta

RunningInThe90s: why

~~~

White Comet: So when are we gonna tell then?

AniEvo: idk

AniEvo: Whenever you’re comfortable with it

AniEvo: Do your parents know?

White Comet: No

White Comet: I know that Keisuke, Takumi, and Itsuki have a Conspiracy Theory Groupchat dedicated to my love life tho

AniEvo: Lol

~~~

Panda: Are we sure he’s single?

Polar Bear: Yes

SunBear: He’s always on his phone

SunBear: I could steal it

Polar Bear: How would that work?

SunBear: He’s drinking rn

SunBear: idk if he uses fingerprint or not

SunBear: But if he does, I can wait til he dead to the world then hack in and check his texts

Panda: I have a feeling you’ll regret this

SunBear: I regret many things

Polar Bear: Like???

SunBear: Dying my hair

SunBear: it now won’t fade and im bitter

Panda: Well

Panda: Use that anger to unlock your bro’s phone

Panda: I have my life savings on the line here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm not dying anymore!!! Yay!!!
> 
> This is an ancient chapter I wrote months ago. Hope you enjoy!


	4. Too gay to be a doctor bruh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ringo: it makes since considering youre gonna be a doctor
> 
> WalkingInthe80s: lol as if
> 
> WalkingInThe80s: I’m too gay

Ken You Not?: @everybody

Ken You Not?: It’s the annual RedSuns Halloween karaoke/GH/Just Dance dance off- Costume Contest

RunningInThe90s: If you don’t sing then perish

~~~

Takumi: What are you dressing up as?

Itsuki Shut Up Already: Smashmouth

Takumi: Oh

Takumi: Idk what I’m going as

Itsuki Shut Up Already: Iketani’s coming as Ant-Man

Takumi: I suddenly have an idea

~~~

Ringo: I like how when I walk in, Ryousuke comes in as Dr. Strange

Ringo: it makes since considering youre gonna be a doctor

WalkingInthe80s: lol as if

WalkingInThe80s: I’m too gay 

Ringo: Ok?????

Make Me: Who are you even supposed to be?

Make Me: You just look more emo than takeshi for once

ImNotEmo: hey

Ringo: I’m Bucky Barnes

Ringo: I have the hair for him 

ImNotEmo: I’m Hatsune Miku

Make Me: I noticed

Make Me: Im also bitter that you shave your legs and I don’t

Ringo: Also even tho you and Sayuki came together

Ringo: You don’t have matching costumes

SaSaSayonara: I make a good Maka shut up

Ken You Not?: Yo Itsuki and Iketani are here

SaSaSayonara: Kenta you make a really bad Rick Astley

SaSaSayonara: Also Mako I saw you throwing your phone

ImNotEmo: Is Iketani Ant Man?

Ringo: He is pulling off the hobo look fairly well

Ringo: Itsuki is a very good SmashMouth

SaSaSayonara: @Certified Idiot Where’s Takumi?

Certified Idiot: he’s coming on his own

Certified Idiot: he said he needed to get a wig so he’ll be slightly late

~~~

RunningInThe90s: Am I hallucinating?

Certified Idiot: I don’t think so

Certified Idiot: Unless we’re all hallucinating the same thing

SaSaSayonara: well

SaSaSayonara: He does make a very nice Pete Burns  
WalkingInThe80s: Let the festivities begin

~~~

CertifiedIdiot: It’s been ten minutes and Ryousuke is already drunk

RunningInThe90s: Duh

RunningInThe90s: I mixed in rubbing alcohol with regular alcohol  
CertifiedIdiot: But isn’t that poisonous

RunningInThe90s: He traded his soul for immortality and his drifting skills

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: So who’s singing first?  
Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Cuz it’s not me

Eternal Bachelor: Not me

EmperorPenguin: Nopity nope nope

SaSaSayonara: wtf are you supposed to be?

EmperorPenguin: …

EmperorPenguin: Captain America

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: so if I just sing once then I don’t have to sing anymore?

RunningInThe90s: yup

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: k then

~~~

Ken You Not?: THOSE MOVES

Ringo: Who know Takumi could dance?

Ringo: Or sing Mr. Saxobeat?

ImNotEmo: Or act like a human?

RunningInThe90s: @Certified Idiot did you know about this?

Certified Idiot: Yeah

Certified Idiot: Also I can see your blush from here

RunningInThe90s: help im so gay

EmperorPenguin: Tho srsly he makes a good pete burns

Certified Idiot: Ok so I didn’t know he could do high kicks

Make Me: Not only can he drift while playing Pokemon Go

Make Me: BUT HE CAN DO HIGH KICKS?????

EmperorPenguin: Don’t forget that he’s wearing high heeled boots

SaSaSayonara: and im over here barely able to walk in one inch heels

~~~

RunningInThe90s: NEXT

Eternal Bachelor: I feel my impending doom

~~~

Ringo: wtf is he singing?

Ken You Not?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwzUs1IMdyQ&index=19&t=0s&list=PLJ5GNHvxKoRO7mMudbLxD7pXKql4vwILp

Make Me: He’s hitting dem notes

SaSaSayonara: and the weird lip buzz thing he’s doing

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: so is it not normal to do high kicks?

~~~

Takumi: You have a lot to explain

Bunta: The things I teach you are very useful

~~~

ImNotEmo: I leave for two minutes to pee and get food

ImNotEmo: and I come back to Ryousuke and Kyoichi doing Everytime We Touch

Ringo: Is this the real life?

Ringo: or is it just fantasy?

~~~

SaSaSayonara: Me and Mako are going next

Make Me: username

SaSaSayonara: bruh  
Make Me: ….

Make Me: fine

~~~

Ringo: Such weebs

SaSaSayonara: Shut

Ringo: I prefer Pretty Rhythm over Pripara anyways

SaSaSayonara: duel!

~~~

Ken You Not?: Who wants to do a thing with me?

Make Me: Shut it

Make Me: This battle between Shingo and Sayuki is entertainment at its finest

ImNotEmo: he’s hitting those high notes

ImNotEmo: he actually sounds like the original singer

Eternal Bachelor: what have I come to?

Eternal Bachelor: watching a grown man singing a character song from a kids’ anime

~~~

Certified Idiot: I’m going next!

RunningInThe90s: @Nocturnal Tofu Delivery why are you putting ear plugs in?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: It’s Itsuki

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: he can’t sing

~~~

RunningInThe90s: you were right

RunningInThe90s: I’m singing next

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: At least his costume matches the song

Ken You Not?: Who is he supposed to be?

Certified Idiot: I can now see why people hate you

Certified Idiot: So you really don’t know who Sailor Moon is?

~~~

Takumi: Help I’m dying

Natsu~: oh?

Takumi: His legs look so good

Natsu~: you become friends with him

Natsu~: Then you ask him out

Natsu~: Then hopefully you date him

Takumi: I’ll die first from his legs

~~~

Ken You Not?: I’m going next

ImNotEmo: oh boi

RunningInThe90s: If ya don’t sing, then perish

ImNotEmo: @Ringo join us

Ringo: I already have regrets living

~~~

Certified Idiot: I like how Kenta didn’t even sing

Make Me: It very quickly turned into a duet between Shingo and Takeshi

SaSaSayonara: tho they can sing gud so im not complaining over here

~~~

WalkingInThe80s: gang

Make Me: !

WalkingInThe80s: We’re doing the thing

SaSaSayonara: hell yeah

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: that

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: that was actually decent

Certified Idiot: probably cuz Keisuke wasn’t shirtless that time

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Do you want to die?

~~~

EmperorPenguin: I see how it is

EmperorPenguin: Everyone who didn’t perform, we’re doing I want it that way RN

Make Me: I’m recording this

~~~

RunningInThe90s: k

RunningInThe90s: I think we should end this before Aniki starts mixing anymore soda with alcohol

EmperorPenguin: k im staying

EmperorPenguin: it’s too far for me to drive back

~~~

Takumi: I’m gonna ask him out

Natsu~: !!

Natsu~: Good luck!

Natsu~: it’s time you upgraded from the frying pan

Takumi: that’s not what pansexual means

~~~

Takumi: OH GOD

Natsu~: ?

~~~

Panda: I think that I won the bet

Polar Bear: wat

SunBear: oh no

Panda: I found Ryousuke and Kyoichi going up the bases fairly quickly

Panda: I’m scarred

SunBear: Instead of money, I’ll get you bleach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another ancient chapter lol.
> 
> I need to start writing more!!!!! >.< ;;;;


	5. Takumi Makes National News, Ryousuke is a Fanboy, and Shingo is so done with this shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make Me: Why is Takumi on national news?

Ken You Not?: Oh shit I forgot this chat existed

Ken You Not?: This chat is deader than me

Make Me: Sorry I was hibernating

Ringo: What even happened?

Ringo: The Halloween party happened then Takumi got sad and then all of the Red Suns disappear into the sunset

Natsu~: Takumi got sad that I beat him at Mario Kart

Ringo: That doesn’t explain anything

Natsu~: It explains a lot

~~~

EmperorPenguin: Me Ryousuke and Keisuke went joy riding

Eternal Bachelor: How much drifting was there?

EmperorPenguin: 120% drifting

Ringo: Ok

Ringo: Where’s Takumi

~~~

Ringo: Was I the only one who saw the news?

Eternal Bachelor: Turning on my TV rn

Ken You Not?: What news???

Eternal Bachelor: Oh shit

EmperorPenguin: Oh shit indeed

~~~

Bunta: I saw you on the news

Bunta: And whatever you did

Bunta: I’m proud

~~~

Takumi: Itsuki get the fuck over here

Itsuki Shut Up Already: WHERE ARE YOU?!

Takumi: Look to your left

~~~

Make Me: Why is Takumi on national news?

Make Me: Please don’t tell me he’s on international news

SaSaSayonara: I’m in Taiwan rn and I can confirm he made international news

Ringo: At this rate he’s gonna make galactic news

~~~

Hero With Some Fear: Yo Obi ya seeing this?

Ben & Jerry’s: Please don’t copy him

~~~  
What is Love?: Yo sis you seeing this?

KaKaKa: Yup

KaKaKa: Texting Itsuki rn

~~~

KaKaKa: Yo

KaKaKa: Why is your friend on national news?

~~~

Itsuki Shut Up Already: WHY ARE YOU DRIFTING A TRAIN?!

Takumi: Cuz

Takumi: The Hachi-Roku has another hour on the parking meter

~~~

Sage: why is the 86 on national news?

EmperorPenguin: Good question

~~~

Eternal Bachelor: Takumi wherever you are

Eternal Bachelor: I’m so proud

~~~

Aniki: It’s the most eloquent of video games

Aniki: The simplicity of the game rings true to the soul

Aniki: And the strategy behind the game mechanics is so good

Aniki: It soothes my withered soul

Keisuke: Aniki

Aniki: Don’t interrupt my monologue

Aniki: The stories behind the competitors are inspirational

Keisuke: Aniki

Aniki: And the skills they have make my mouth water

Keisuke: Takumi’s drifting a train

Aniki:

Aniki: Oh shit fam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me like twenty minutes to get this chapter up cuz I forgot how AO3 worked tbh.


	6. More Characters get unlocked, More Gayness, and Takumi is so done with this shit (Tho Honestly Same)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SaSaSayonara: Is Takumi on the run again?
> 
> Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I’m sleeping what?

Ringo: I’m so done with this shit

Make Me: Oh boy

Make Me: What happened?

SaSaSayonara: Is Takumi on the run again?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I’m sleeping what?

Ringo: No it’s Takeshi

Ringo: First he crashes the R32

Ringo: Then he crashes the spare R32 we have

Ringo: WE ONLY HAVE ONE R32 LEFT

Eternal Bachelor: That brings up so many questions 

Eternal Bachelor: Like you live together???

Ken You Not?: You have multiple r32’s?

Ken You Not?: Lucky

Ringo: Yes we live together

Ringo: We’re dating like why wouldn’t we

ImNotEmo: My gaydar was activated and I see that I’ve been dragged out of the closet

Ringo: Bruh

Ringo: Like three chapters ago

WalkingInThe80s: When did we get so meta?

Ringo: We all came out

ImNotEmo: 

ImNotEmo: true

RunningInThe90s: wait when did you guys get together?

RunningInThe90s: cuz last time I checked you guys hate each other

Ringo: After I lost to Takumi

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: guys I’m literally sleeping shut up

~~~

Certified Idiot: Yo is it chill if I add some peeps?

RunningInThe90s:

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery:

Ken You Not?:

Ringo:

Eternal Bachelor:

WalkingInThe90s: Yeah sure why not?

Certified Idiot: Sweet!

Certified Idiot has added What is Love? And KaKaKa to Dank Memes Broken Dreams 

What Is Love?: What The fuck is this?

RunningInThe90s: Hell

~~~

RunningInThe90s: Yo aniki I got your hair dye

RunningInThe90s: 

RunningInThe90s: shit wrong chat

SaSaSayonara: Wait Ryousuke dyes his hair?

WalkingInThe90s: yeah

WalkingInThe90s: Me and Kyoichi dye our hair everytime we lose

RunningInThe90s: Wait why is his hair blonde?

RunningInThe90s: He hasn’t lost to me????

WalkingInThe90s: Remember that year when I dyed my hair blonde cuz I lost to that one guy from that one province?

RunningInThe90s: 

RunningInThe 90s: I feel like an idiot

SaSaSayonara: Join the club

~~~

WalkingInThe90s: Sometimes I forgot that Seiji exists

EmperorPenguin: same

Eternal Bachelor: Aren’t you guys teammates?

EmperorPenguin: Yeah but I don’t wanna deal with him

WalkingInThe90s:

WalkingInThe90s has added Evo Boi to Dank Memes Broken Dreams

Evo Boi:

Evo Boi: What the fuck is this?

WalkingInThe90s: Hell

~~~

KaKaKa: You never did explain why Takumi was drifting a train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter(ish) chapter. I have a whole list of ideas that I want to incorporate into this fic but combining them into cohesive(ish) chapters is difficult when you're sleep deprived. (Sleep is for the weak).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. I'M GONNA GET YOU LIKE A SOY BOY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ringo: What do the three s’s stand for?
> 
> Ken You Not?: Single, Sad, and Short

Evo Boi: Seriously

Evo Boi: Wtf is this?

Ringo: tbh idk

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Itsuki’s singing I’m In Love With My Car while dancing on his AE 85 do I make him stop?

Eternal Bachelor: No you record it and post it to Youtube 

What is Love?: 

What is Love: I suddenly have no complaints about being here

~~~

Eternal Bachelor: any good song recs?

Eternal Bachelor: I’m looking for new music to drift to

Make Me: [Remember That One Time The Takahashi Bros Sang?](https://initiald.fandom.com/wiki/Initial_D_Vocal_Battle_Special_feat._Takahashi_Bros._Red_Suns)

SaSaSayonara: Ahhhh I remember that

Ringo: What is it?

SaSaSayonara: Me and Mako made a bet with the bros a couple years back that Kyoichi wouldn’t drift a limo and succeed

SaSaSayonara: Turns out that his limo drifting skills are very good and in exchange the bros sang a whole Eurobeat album

~~~

Takumi: I’m gay

Natsu~: We know

~~~

Ringo: Dancing On the Street by David Dima is good

Eternal Bachelor: Link plz

Ringo: Naw

KaKaKa: I love this chat

Evo Boi: Wait 

Evo Boi: Who are you?

KaKaKa: Don’t run jump or dance while playing the kazoo

KaKaKa:

KaKaKa changed their username to Kazoo Kid

Kazoo Kid: I’ve ascended to the final plane of life

Evo Boi:

Evo Boi: Kyoichi your friends are terrifying

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: [German Naruto Opening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8xoTBZrzko)

Eternal Bachelor: What the fuuuuuuuuu-

~~~

Ken You Not?: Crisis!

Ringo: Uh oh

Ringo: What’s Takumi drifting this time?

Ken You Not?: He isn’t drifting anything

Ringo: Ok then I’m going back to sleep

ImNotEmo: You’re literally playing LLSIF rn

Ringo:

Ringo: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

~~~

Ken You Not? has added Ringo, ImNotEmo, Eternal Bachelor, Itsuki, WalkingInThe80s, and Natsu~ to Untitled Chat

Ken You Not? has named the chat SSS Takumi needs to sink

Ken You Not?: Welcome to the chat!

Ringo: What do the three s’s stand for?

Ken You Not?: Single, Sad, and Short

Ken You Not?: duh

WalkingInThe80s: You’re shorter than him

Ken You Not?: Shut up

~~~

WalkingInThe80s:

WalkingInThe80s: New members of le chat

WalkingInThe80s: How much do you love our resident soy boy?

Kazoo Kid: Ehh

Evo Boi: 7.8/10

What is Love?: I’m his biggest fan!!!

WalkingInThe80s:

~~~

WalkingInThe80s has added What is Love? To Soy Boy Fan Club

WalkingInThe80s: Welcome to the club

~~~

Natsu~: Wait

Natsu~: You’re still single?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH WOAH WOAH WO-


	8. Operation Get Takumi and Keisuke Laid!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ken You Not?: Well Keisuke’s gonna kill me and I hafta live to see the new Animal Crossing

Ken You Not?: We need to change our names

Ken You Not?: This is a top secret operation

Ken You Not?: Our lives are on the line

Ken You Not?: If you’re not willing to sacrifice yourself to this cause then leave now

Ringo: Kenta

Ringo: This is a group chat

Ken You Not?: Well Keisuke’s gonna kill me and I hafta live to see the new Animal Crossing

~~~

It’sYaBoi: Welcome new club member!!!

What Is Love?: What’s this?

WalkingInThe80s has changed their username to WhiteComet

WhiteComet: This is where all of the fans of Tofu himself gather

What is Love? Has changed their username to SoyBoy2

WhiteComet: It’s also used for Keisuke’s gay rantings about Takumi

Copy & Paste: Shut tf up

~~~

Clark: Ok everyone’s names in place?

RowRowRowYourBoat: I think so

OhShit2: Why am I even here?

Clark: Cuz you’re in a relationship and we need experienced players here

OhShit2: username

Clark: I’m doing this for Keisuke’s happiness 

Clark: Also cuz I have a bet with Ryousuke over who confesses first

RowRowRowYourBoat: We both know it’s gonna be a simultaneous confession out of a romcom stop denying reality

~~~

GasGasGas: I need to add Yuichi here

GasGasGas: He would cry tears of joy

~~~

Clark: What’s the status on Takumi’s side?

Let’sGetThisBread: He was gonna confess after the Halloween party but saw Ryousuke and Kyoichi making out and left

RowRowRowYourBoat: Oh shit

RowRowRowYourBoat: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

RowRowRowYourBoat: Big oof?

Clark: Of course you had to be horny!

RowRowRowYourBoat: uwu sowwy

~~~

SoyBoy1: Are you truly worthy of the moniker SoyBoy?

SoyBoy2: probably not lol

SoyBoy2: I have an AE 86 too

SoyBoy1: I am quite literally a soy farmer

SoyBoy2: I have a cat named Tofu

SoyBoy1: I have Takumi’s signature on a ketchup stained napkin

SoyBoy2:

SoyBoy2: I’m not even gonna ask where you got that from

~~~

Clark: Keisuke isn’t gonna say anything cuz he thinks that Natsuki and Takumi are still dating

Let’sGetThisBread: we aint lol

Clark: Exactly

Clark: How willing are you to smooch up a guy?

Let’sGetThisBread: Let’s not

RowRowRowYourBoat: So it would be more productive to have Takumi confess

Let’sGetThisBread: he’s too traumatized to come within ten meters of your house

RowRowRowYourBoat: I’m sorry that I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in a week!!!

~~~

SoyBoy2: I have the same hair colour and haircut as Takumi

SoyBoy1: Well so does Ryou so that doesn’t mean much

WhiteComet: I’m having a serious conversation with Kenta rn shut up plz

SoyBoy1:

SoyBoy1: What the fuck is going on he-

~~~

It’sYaBoi: Ok so here’s the plan

It’sYaBoi: I spend my life savings on allowing Takumi’s dad to let me and Takumi joyride all the way to Akina

It’sYaBoi: Something conveniently ‘breaks’ and the nearest person who has the parts is Keisuke and Ryousuke

It’sYaBoi: We go to their garage, I leave to ‘call my parents’

Clark: Then the power goes out and they make out

Clark: And if not, then the part conveniently ‘vanishes’

RowRowRowYourBoat: and I’ll be pretending to be blackout drunk

Clark: So like usual

~~~

Takumi: Something’s going on

Keisuke: Yeah

Keisuke: Aniki is actually sober 

Keisuke: Something’s up

Takumi: Meet me at Lake Akina?

Keisuke: Yeah

Keisuke: Ten good?

Takumi: Yee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was super difficult to write mainly because halfway through I went, "It's too short." and I added a bunch of stuff to it and when I finished it it ended up feeling too long??? IDK- it feels like my chapters have gotten shorter ever since my hiatus...
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy it! And thank you for all the lovely support!!!
> 
> Usernames  
> Takumi: Nocturnal Tofu Delivery/ Takumi/ Panda  
> Istuki: Certified Idiot/ Itsuki Shut Up Already/ Polar Bear/ Itsuki/ It’sYaBoi  
> Iketani: Eternal Bachelor/ GasGasGas  
> Ryousuke: WalkingInThe80s/ WhiteComet/ Aniki/ RowRowRowYourBoat  
> Keisuke: RunningInThe90s/ SunBear/ Copy & Paste  
> Kenta: Ken You Not?/ Clark  
> Mako: Make Me  
> Sayuki: SaSaSayonara  
> Kyoichi: EmperorPenguin/ AniEvo/ SoyBoy1  
> Shingo: Ringo/ OhShit2  
> Takeshi: ImNotEmo/ OhShit1  
> Natsuki: Natsu~/ Let’sGetThisBread  
> Wataru: What is Love?/ SoyBoy2  
> Kazumi: KaKaKa/ Kazoo Kid  
> Seiji: Evo Boi/Sage


	9. Operation Get Takumi and Keisuke Laid!!! (Le Parto Numero Dos)

Takumi tossed his phone onto the bed and groaned loudly into his hands.

“Keisuke, you’re gonna be the death of me.” He muttered as he slowly slipped out of bed and padded over to his closet. He needed to wear something nicer than usual- he didn’t want to look like his usual hobo self (‘Though,’ he thought with a smirk, ‘Natsuki was into his ‘three hours of sleep’ look that he pulled off most days…’)

“No, no Takumi, keep it safe and ask later if he has a hobo kink.” Takumi told himself as he started rummaging through the stack of clothes he had lying on the floor. He was pretty sure he had clean laundry somewhere…

~~~

He stumbled down the stairs, and quickly glanced at the clock on the wall- it was almost 9:1- he better hurry.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Takumi winced as he turned around to face his old man. (Oh right, he wasn’t an anime protagonist orphan.)

“I’m meeting up with someone…?” Takumi didn’t want to specify too much- he wasn’t entirely sure if his dad was chill with Takumi kissing guys (and he liked his bed too much to risk that).

“Ahh…so you aren’t into kitchenware?” If Takumi had anything to spit out, he definitely would’ve spat it out by now- partly due to the fact that his chainsmoker dad just made a pansexual joke and partly due to the fact that he did this all with his eyes closed and his nose buried in the evening paper. 

“No…it’s a boy…” Takumi replied in shock. Bunta seemed to hum at this, before he suddenly stood up and shuffled over to the back of the shop- a place that Takumi wasn’t the biggest fan of due to the small child-sized spider webs back there.

He returned with a dusty brown letterman jacket. Bunta quickly patted off some of the dust and handed it over to Takumi.

“This used to be your mother’s. She always liked her jackets baggy- should fit you perfectly.” Takumi slipped off his current jacket and put the other one on. His father was right- it did fit him perfectly.

“Thanks.” Takumi folded up the first jacket and set it aside. “What do I hafta do in return?” 

Bunta lightly smacked him by the head, and Takumi hissed, quickly checking to make sure his hair hadn’t puffed back up. “Can’t you appreciate a gift by itself? I was planning on giving it to you for your birthday.” Takumi mumbled a quick thanks as he went to the door to put on his shoes. 

“One last thing.” Bunta said as Takumi was about to get into the Hachi-Roku. “If he ends up being an asshole, punch him as hard as you can. I’ll figure out something for tomorrow’s delivery.” And with that, he stepped back inside of the shop, and Takumi started up the engine.

~~~

By the time Takumi had arrived at Lake Akina, Keisuke was already there.

“Hopefully he hadn’t been waiting for too long.” Takumi muttered aloud to himself as he parked next to the yellow RX-7. The lake was dark, and as far as Takumi could tell, they were the only people out here at this time of day. 

“Hey.” Takumi muttered as the older man got out of his car. He walked around until they were both standing behind their cars.

“Hey.” Keisuke replied back, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He silently lit one, and offered another to Takumi.

He shook his head. “Sorry, I don’t smoke.” He pretened to not hear Bunta’s harsh coughing late at night, and if school taught him anything it was that your lungs are fairly important, and Takumi liked being able to breathe, thank you very much.

“So why’d you wanna meet?” Keisuke asked as he put the pack of cigarettes away.

“I…I think I know why the group chat was dead the other day.”

“And why was it?” Takumi turned to look out at the lake, the dark waters reflecting the lights of the resort on the far shore.

“I…I like you…like a lot…” Takumi felt his entire face go red, and he pointedly kept staring out at the lake and anywhere but Keisuke’s face- just anywhere but there.

It was silent for a few seconds. The cicadas stopped their usual buzzing, and all Takumi could hear was the water lapping against the lake shore and the distant hum of the city below the mountain. 

Takumi was seriously considering getting back into the Hachi-Roku and driving over to Akina Pass and challenging Ryousuke or Kyoichi or anyone really, except that keisuke would also likely follow and that would be really awkward and-

Any further thoughts he had were abruptly stopped as Takumi felt rough and chapped lips meet his.

It took a few seconds for him to respond back, but by the time they broke apart, they both had smiles on their faces.

“I like you too.” Keisuke mumbled softly.

Takumi smiled. “I would hope so.”

~~~

Certified Idiot: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAR???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow no memes, wow RaRaYuu actually writing serious shit instead of shitposting wow.
> 
> This was a lot of fun to do, but it was soooooooooo hard characterizing Takumi and Bunta correctly. I wanted Takumi to give two shits, and Bunta to actually be somewhat supporting, which was a difficult task considering their canon personalities, but oh well. 
> 
> I'm gonna keep this super short because there's a thunderstorm literally over my house rn and I don't wanna lose power halfway though writing this message, but I have a Wattpad (Yes I actually use Wattpad) where I post all of these stories and some original (gasp) ones as well! Ever since I've been writing this after le hiatus, I've been super inspired to work on my non-fanfic stories, so please check it out!
> 
>  
> 
> [LINK](https://www.wattpad.com/user/LouStandards)


	10. NEW CHARACTERS (Again) and Mako's Dying (Nothing Unusual tbh)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenji:
> 
> Kenji: What the fu-

SaSaSayonara: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

SaSaSayonara: We have a problem

RunningInThe90s: We have many problems please specify

Kazoo Kid: Wataru’s taste in cars?

What is Love?: The fact that the son of a tofu shop owner could afford an engine that I’ve been saving up for since I was seven?

Eternal Bachelor: My love life?

SaSaSayonara:

SaSaSayonara: No…?

SaSaSayonara: We’re racing the fucking Night Kids cuz somebody had to start a bet on everything

ImNotEmo: Hey!

ImNotEmo: I’m not the one who thinks that the Prequel Trilogy sucks

Ringo: Don’t call me out like this

SaSaSayonara: GUYS

SaSaSayonara:

SaSaSayonara: Soooooooo

SaSaSayonara: Mako decided to start dying from the plague

WalkingInthe80s: Bubonic or Septicemic?

SaSaSayonara: It’s currently looking like pneumonic

WalkingInThe80s: Big oof

WalkingInThe80s: I’ll start the funeral planning

SaSaSayonara: Thx

EmperorPenguin: Sometimes I forget that Ryousuke is literally gonna be a doctor

Ringo: We can reschedule it if you want

ImNotEmo: no

Ringo: 

Ringo: Nvm we can’t reschedule it

Kazoo Kid: I could drive

What is Love?: Kazumi no

EmperorPenguin: Have you considered cloning Mako

SaSaSayonara: Too time consuming

RunningInThe90s: You’re not concerned about how much it costs?

SaSaSayonara: I’m in the same group chat as two billionaire brothers money isn’t a problem

RunningInThe90s: 

RunningInThe90s: Our parents wouldn’t like that

~~~

RunningInThe90s: Hey does anyone know where Takumi is?

Ken You Not?: Your boyfriend your problem

RunningInThe90s: 

RunningInThe90s: I have more important things than Takumi now

~~~

Ringo: I hear shrieking

Ringo: So now the question is

Ringo: Is that Takumi or Kenta?

~~~

RunningInThe90s: Kenta’s :)

~~~

GasGasGas Bois Chat

Panda: 

Panda: I wake up from my nap to find we’re stuck at a gas station

Panda: And I have one question

Panda: Why the fuck

GasGasGas: oof?

~~~

SaSaSayonara: @Eternal Bachelor

SaSaSayonara: I thought you were coming to see the race?

SaSaSayonara: So where tf are you?

Eternal Bachelor: We ran out of gas

SaSaSayonara: Where are you?

Eternal Bachelor: At a gas station

Evo Boi: Shouldn’t that fix your problem?

Eternal Bachelor: No we need the gas for the tires

Evo Boi:

Evo Boi: what

Certified Idiot: Kenji thought it would be a good idea to see if putting water in the tires was a good idea

Certified Idiot: But his water bill was running high, so our boss at the gas station we work at let us borrow some gasoline

RunningInThe90s: Why are my boyfriend’s friends such chaotic neutrals?

~~~

GasGasGas: Kenji I told you this was a bad idea

Kenji: That’s what my mom told me when I told her we were friends but look at where we are

Certified Idiot: Yeah even Keisuke was like ‘That’s a dumb idea’ and his brother is a nightmare

Kenji:

Kenji: Wait 

Kenji: You guys talk to Keisuke of the Rotary Brothers?

Certified Idiot: Not just him but Takeshi and Shingo and Impact Blue and Ryousuke and Kyoichi

Kenji:

Kenji: And why wasn’t I invited…?

GasGasGas:

GasGasGas: FUCK

~~~

Eternal Bachelor has added Kenji to Sayuki Stop Liking The Sequel Trilogy Please Thx- Shingo

Kenji:

Kenji: What the fu-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay a new chapter!
> 
> Personally, I don't like this one too much but I do like what it leads into, so it'll stay the way it is lol.


	11. WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenned Food: Would anyone like to care about why the fuck I was only added here cuz I put gasoline in Iketani’s tires?

Kenji has changed their username to Kenned Food

Kenned Food: Would anyone like to care about why the fuck I was only added here cuz I put gasoline in Iketani’s tires?

Kenned Food: Also who the fuckening is everyone?

Certified Idiot: I’m Itsuki! Remember!!! The one who informed you of this hell hole?!

Kenned Food: Username checks out

EmperorPenguin: I’m Kyoichi of the Emperor Team

Natsu~: I’m Takumi’s ex-girlfriend

Natsu~: Also known as Natsuki Mogi

Kenned Food: You should know that Takumi spent three hours crying over that game of Mario Kart

Natsu~: I’m still not remorseful

Ringo: I’m Shingo and ImNotEmo is the anti-guardrail meme man himself, Takeshi

Kenned Food: 

Kenned Food: A wha

Evo Boi: I’m the other Evo Boi

What is Love?: I’m the actual Takumi

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: uhhhhhhh

WalkingInThe80s: Nope

WalkingInThe80s: That’s me

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kenned Food: 

Kenned Food: What the fuck

~~~

KEISUKE: Welcome back to another episode of Ryousuke Does dumb Shit Series, I’m your usual host’s brother Takahashi Keisuke and today’s guest hosts are Natsuki Mogi and Kenji I-Still-Don’t-Know-His-Last-Name!

[Camera 1 pans from Keisuke to Mogi and Kenji, who has a disapproving look on his face.]

MOGI: Hiya~~~ I’m Takumi’s former girlfriend~~

KEISUKE: I’m his current boyfriend.

[The sound of someone spitting out a drink can be heard in the background. Keisuke has a poker face at this occurrence.]

KENJI: I’m the second best driver for the Akina Speed Stars and I know The Hachi-Roku personally. Why am I here again?

KEISUKE: So as our viewers may or may not know, we all have a group chat together and Kenji is a recent addition! As we were all introducing ourselves, two members decided to see if they could trick our guest host and the real Takumi was unable to convince him that he wasn’t actually Kenta-

[Kenta can be heard in the background protesting]

KEISUKE: So today we’re going to be playing a game show! Our three contestants are Fujiwara Takumi, Takahashi Ryousuke, and Akiyama Wataru! Links to their social medias are in the description below! Mogi, explain the rules of our game!

MOGI: Our three contestants are currently hidden behind these fancy curtains-

[Camera 2 pans over to three Jeopardy style booths. Where the contestants would be standing instead hands identical AE 86 curtains.]

MOGI: We’ll ask them a series of questions, and at the end of the show, the three of us will guess which one is the real Takumi!

KEISUKE: Contestant 1, please introduce yourself!

CONTESTANT 1: Hi, my name is Fujiwara Takumi and I’m the driver of the Hachi-Roku on Mount Akina. I love tofu and cars.

[Contestant 1’s voice is heavily altered to preserve their identity.]

KEISUKE: Contestant 2, please introduce yourself!

CONTESTANT 2: Hi, my name’s Fujiwara Takumi. I get three hours of sleep every night, like pandas, and am allergic to tofu.

[Much like Contestant 1, their voice is heavily modified.]

KEISUKE: And Contestant 3?

CONTESTANT 3: Hi, I’m Takumi, I’m allergic to tofu and bullshit, and I love Eurobeat.

[You get the point by now.]

MOGI: Onto the questions! Question 1: What is your favorite car?

[A shitty recorder version of the Jeopardy theme starts playing.]

MOGI: Time! Contestants, go!

CONTESTANT 1: The Hachi-Roku, obviously.

CONTESTANT 2: Also the Hachi-Roku

CONTESTANT 3: What’s a car?

KEISUKE: Contestant 3 is correct; Takumi actually doesn’t know which fucking car he drives. Next Question! How many hairpins are there on Akina?

[The shitty recorder music starts playing again.]

KEISUKE: Time! Contestants, please reveal your answers!

CONTESTANT 1: Four!

CONTESTANT 2: Five!

CONTESTANT 3: Five

KENJI: Contestants 2 and 3 are correct; there are five hairpins on the downhill of Akina. Next question; how does Takumi prefer his bricks laid, frog up or frog down?

[The same music plays.]

MOGI: Time’s up~ This is a tricky question, so it’s worth double points! Contestants, reveal your answers now!

CONTESTANT 1: Down?

CONTESTANT 2: Up

CONTESTANT 3: The bricks on the tofu shop are actually laid in a pattern of up up up down down left right left right, with the last two bricks being laid frog up and having the letters A and B carved into the frog of the brick

MOGI: Contestant 1 gets it! Contestant 3 gets half credit for being able to recite the Konami Code. Question 4, What is Takumi’s choir folder number? Go!

[ [The Same Fucking Music]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVE31jSuxeY)

KENJI: Time. Go.

CONTESTANT 1: I’m not in choir???

CONTESTANT 2: I’m not in choir??

CONTESTANT 3: I’m in choir?

KENJI: None of you got the answer correct, because none of those are numbers. Question 5, What is Takumi’s favorite color?

[ [Oh My Fucking God Kenta Why The Fuck Did You Pick This Instead of The Kazoo Cover]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVE31jSuxeY)

KEISUKE: Time! Answers, go!

CONTESTANT 1: White

CONTESTANT 2: Black

CONTESTANT 3: Salmon Pink

KEISUKE: All of you got the correct answers, the real Takumi wrote down those three colors. Right now, Contestant 3 is in the lead with 4 points, Contestant 1 has 3 points, and Contestant 2 only has 2 points, but five questions remain! Question 6, who is Takumi’s favorite YouTuber?

[ [Since You Complained Keisuke, here’s the Kazoo Cover]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JCmg00PdlE)

CONTESTANT 1: Odyssey Eurobeat

CONTESTANT 2: Mega NRG Man

CONTESTANT 3: Jay Foreman

KENJI: Contestant 3 is technically correct because that’s his favorite non-Eurobeat Youtuber, however, Contestant 2 is more correct. You both get 1 point. Next questi- Actually fuck Questions 7 through 9, we’re going to 10. Final Question: What is Takumi’s favorite Eurobeat song?

[No music plays this time. Camera 1 pans over from the contestants writing their answers to Keisuke throwing Kenta out the window.]

[Keisuke returns to his chair, slightly out of breath.]

KEISUKE: Answers?

CONTESTANT 1: TAKUMI by NEO

CONTESTANT 2: SPEED CAR by D Team

CONTESTANT 3: Perfect Hero by Chris Stanton

KEISUKE: Contestant 3 has the correct answer! In fact, I don’t even know if Takumi knows about that NEO song…Anyways, current score totals!

[On-screen, a graphic appears with three AE 86’s each for Contestants 1 and 2, and six for Contestant 3.]

MOGI: And now it’s time for the judges to make their decisions! Keisuke, which Takumi is the real Takumi?

KEISUKE: I think that I’m gonna hafta go for Contestant 3. While that Konami Code bit was a bit…weird, the fact that he chose Salmon Pink is what’s selling it for me. Kenji?

KENJI: I’m going for Contestant 1. While he may have gotten that crucial question about the number of hairpin turns wrong, I can see where his logic is coming from. Technically on Mt. Akina, there are four hairpin turns right next to each other, with a fifth one slightly further apart from the rest. Me and the rest of the Speed Stars have had this argument before, to which Takumi was present.

MOGI: I’m going for Contestant 2. 

KENJI: And what’s your reasoning?

MOGI: I’m supposed to have reasoning?

[Kenji can be seen facepalming. Keisuke clears his throat.]

KEISUKE: We have all voted for different Takumis, now, which one of us was correct, and which one wasn’t? Curtain!

[Mogi walks over to a dramatically hanging cord and tugs on it, causing the curtains to fall and reveal the contestants.]

KENJI: It looks like….wait…. Where the fuck is he? And why is there an old man here?

MOGI: Oh! Hi Takumi’s dad!

BUNTA: What the fuck am I doing here?

KENJI: It looks like none of us were correct, with Contestant 1 being Akiyama Wataru, Contestant 2 being Takahashi Ryousuke, and Contestant 3 strangely being Takumi’s dad…?

KEISUKE: ANYWAYS, that’s it for today’s episode of I’m Losing My Mental Stability, check back in next week for more shenanigans and dead Kentas!

[The end card appears, encouraging viewers to like, subscribe, and sacrifice their soul to The Rotary Brothers. The video ends.]

~~~

“You got any 10’s?” Iketani shook his head, and Itsuki sighed and drew another card. He turned towards Takumi. 

“Ya got any 2’s?” Takumi shook his head, and Iketani drew a card from the stack.

“You got any any 4’s?” Iketani handed Takumi a single card, and with a small smirk, he dropped all of his remaining cards onto the table. 

“I win.” 

There was silence for a few seconds, before Itsuki suddenly stood up and flipped the table over.

“WHAT THE FU-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this chapter. 
> 
> I had so much fun writing this (I think I only had two brain cells the whole time lol), and hopefully that shows through! It was a lot of fun trying to find kazoo covers of the Jeopardy them song.


	12. Car Ghosts (Vewy Spooky), Water, and Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazoo Kid: Just spent all of my life savings on kazoos
> 
> What is Love?: Well how’s life treatin’ ya?

MakeMe: Ryousuke your most recent video was a modern masterpiece

SaSaSayuki: We showed it to the rest of Impact Blue and they loved it

SaSaSayuki: Who’s idea was it?

WalkingInThe80s: Well

WalkingInThe80s: I was inspired by the game show episode, specifically the question about Takumi’s favorite Eurobeat song

WalkingInThe80s: And I was wondering if you played Eurobeat while drifting, would it affect your driving?

Ringo: Well

Ringo: What happened?

Ringo: I haven’t watched it yet

WalkingInThe80s: We got a bunch of RX-7’s 

WalkingInThe80s: And me and Keisuke drifted them while listening to different Eurobeat songs

RunningInThe90s: I’m still in the hospital you asshole

WalkingInThe80s: 

WalkingInThe80s: We ended up crashing 

Eternal Bachelor: You?

Eternal Bachelor: The Rotary Brothers

WalkingInThe80s: Well I was sober

Eternal Bachelor:

Eternal Bachelor: What the fuck

~~~

Kazoo Kid: Just spent all of my life savings on kazoos

What is Love?: Well how’s life treatin’ ya?

Kazoo Kid: Now that you’re no longer buying AE 86’s like there’s no tomorrow, fairly good

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: I’d like to point out the fact that we’re still stuck at a gas station somewhere in Gunma

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: It’s been three days and Itsuki’s currently planning on grilling Kenji

Kenned Food: What the fuck

RunningInThe90s: I would save you but somebody decided to crash into me while screaming the lyrics to Gas Gas Gas

WalkingInThe80s: The guardrails were calling for me

ImNotEmo: Hey!

ImNotEmo: Back off

ImNotEmo: Guardrails are my aesthetic

Ringo: Was it a double crash?

WalkingInThe80s: Yes?

Ringo: I’m suing you for plagiarism

Ringo: Cuz that’s my aesthetic

What is Love?: What is it with the Night Kids and crashing?

Ringo: It’s a requirement to join the team

Kazoo Kid: What’s the point of that?

Ringo: It stops dead people from joining the team

Kazoo Kid:

Ringo: Ghosts are a very big problem, okay?

ImNotEmo: We’ve already had to call the Ghostbusters to exterminate some car ghosts and we only had spring onions to eat for two weeks

~~~

Evo Boi: Me and Kyoichi have been in an argument over if water is wet

EmperorPenguin: I’m telling you it’s wet

WalkingInThe80s:

WalkingInThe80s: I guess I’m single now

Ken You Not?: Water is wet?

WalkingInThe80s: It isn’t

RunningInThe90s: Aniki

RunningInThe90s: You’re literally a chaotic neutral why do you not believe that water is wet?

WalkingInThe80s: Because I’m a doctor 

WalkingInThe80s: Do you believe that water is wet?

RunningInThe90s: Uhhhh yes?

WalkingInThe80s:

WalkingInThe80s: Get out of the house

RunningInThe90s: You aren’t my mom!

WalkingInThe80s: Well Mom doesn’t support your dream of a ramen shop

~~~

 

WalkingInThe80s: I know that this is abnormal for me

WalkingInThe80s: But what the happen is fuckening?

EmperorPenguin: What blew up this time?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: This time?

WalkingInThe80s: Irrelevent

WalkingInThe80s: Keisuke has a ramen shop now

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: 

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Yeah I was kinda expecting that

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Now go back to the explosion stuff

~~~

Earlier that week…

RunningInThe90s has added Nocturnal Tofu Delivery, Ken You Not?, Eternal Bachelor, Certified Idiot, Kazoo Kid, and Natsu~ to Untitled Chat

RunningInThe90s has named the chat Ramen Boiz

RunningInThe90s has changed their username to Keisuke

Keisuke: Welcome to the group chat

Keisuke: We’re getting revenge bitches

Keisuke: Now

Keisuke: Anybody have commitments occurring every single day of the week save for Sunday?

~~~

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: Is anyone gonna get us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the most crackish of all of the chapters I've written so far, which is saying a lot considering what happens in Chapter 13 lol.


	13. The Haircut Conspiracy, Racing Origins, and More Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SaSaSayonara: Have you ever realized that Wataru, Takumi, and Dave Rodgers have the same haircut?

Ramen Boiz

Keisuke: It’s gonna take me a bit to secure a location

Keisuke: So ya got any recs?

Kazoo Kid has changed their username to Kazumi

Kazumi: Where ever this shop is being, there needs to be a second floor so I can crash there

Kazumi: I’m presuming that the shop’s gonna be in Gunma and Saitama is practically a different country from Gunma so I refuse to be commuting that far

Keisuke: Noted

Keisuke: Any other ideas

Ken You Not? has changed their username to Kenta

Certified Idiot has changed their username to Itsuki

Kenta: There needs to be a jukebox

Kenta: And occasionally it plays What’s Up Pussycats 7 times in a row

Keisuke: 

Keisuke: I’m suddenly regretting inviting you into this enterprise

Itsuki: If we work there, most of us will be out on Saturday evenings for racing stuff

Keisuke: true true

Keisuke: We’ll figure out shifts later, but I’ll keep that in mind

Keisuke: Any other ideas?

Natsu~: Takumi loves cats

Natsu~: So like a cat-café ramen shop would be cool

Keisuke: Anybody allergic?

Keisuke:

Keisuke: I’m taking your silence as nope’s fyi

Keisuke:

Keisuke: K then

Keisuke: Natsuki you’re on cat duty

Keisuke: Me and Kazumi will work on obtaining a location

Keisuke: Kenta you distract Ryousuke so he doesn’t figure out that we’re doing DATV over here

Kenta: k

~~~

Ken You Not?: Hey guys

Ken You Not: Quick question

Ken You Not: How did you get into street racing?

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: My dad dragged me into it

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery: And now the bros are still dragging me into it

RunningInThe90s: Lol

Certified Idiot: Lol

Kazoo Kid: Lol

Natsu~: Lol

RunningInThe90s: I was dragged into it by Aniki

Kenned Food: Iketani was entering the race scene, but the locals were like ‘Naw bruh you’re like 12 gtfo” and someone had to protect his ass

Certified Idiot: How old were you guys?

Eternal Bachelor: They got our age very wrong

Eternal Bachelor: We were 9

Make Me:

Make Me: Unlike some of the mentally unstable people here

SaSaSayonara: *cough cough* the bros and Speed Stars *cough cough*

Make Me: I was merely inspired by Ryousuke

SaSaSayonara: I became her navigator after she crashed her car crying over pigeons

RunningInThe90s: Someday I’m going to get the full story to that

Make Me: Username

EmperorPenguin: I was inspired by Ryousuke too

EmperorPenguin: A year after I started racing there was this annoying kid that kept following me

EmperorPenguin: So to stop him from breaking into my house again, I offered to teach him how to drive

Evo Boi: Awwwww that’s a sweet story

Evo Boi: Where do I come into this?

Emperor Penguin: And that’s how I met Seiji

Evo Boi:

Evo Boi: Boi

RunningInThe90s: FYI Ryousuke’s rolling on the floor laughing rn

ImNotEmo: My brother’s favorite anime growing up was Wangan Midnight

ImNotEmo: I watched it with him one time, got inspired, and now here I am

Ringo: Meanwhile 

Ringo: I love Eurobeat and started racing cuz of it

ImNotEmo: That doesn’t explain the duct tape death match thing you were doing for several years 

Ringo: Remember that one time we were drunk and we started arguing over if Flex Tape was better than Duct Tape?

ImNotEmo: No…?

Ringo: That’s where it started

SaSaSayonara: Lol I remember that

SaSaSayonara: Dave Rodgers was also at that party

Ringo: I still have his mustard autograph he gave me

ImNotEmo:

ImNotEmo: Honestly I’m not even gonna ask

Eternal Bachelor: I was inspired by Ryousuke

Eternal Bachelor: I still remember the first time I saw the White Comet of Akagi

What is Love?: I was also inspired by Ryousuke

What is Love?: But RX-7’s are expensive so I bought a AE-86

Kazoo Kid: Which is why you currently don’t have a soul

What is Love?: I got a very good deal out of my soul, ok?

~~~

SaSaSayonara: Have you ever realized that Wataru, Takumi, and Dave Rodgers have the same haircut?

Make Me:

Make Me: I need proof of this

SaSaSayonara: 

SaSaSayonara: 

SaSaSayonara: 

Ringo:

Ringo: holy shit

~~~

WalkingInThe80s: I was really good at Mario Kart Wii

WalkingInThe80s: So I was like ‘How hard can real life racing be?’

WalkingInThe80s: So here I am

Ringo: What the fuck

~~~

Ramen Boiz

Keisuke: I bought a location!

Nocturnal Tofu Delivery has changed their username to Takumi

Takumi: You do realize that most of us have jobs, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takumi: Nocturnal Tofu Delivery/ Takumi/ Panda  
> Istuki: Certified Idiot/ Itsuki Shut Up Already/ Polar Bear/ Itsuki/ It’sYaBoi  
> Iketani: Eternal Bachelor/ GasGasGas  
> Ryousuke: WalkingInThe80s/ WhiteComet/ Aniki/ RowRowRowYourBoat  
> Keisuke: RunningInThe90s/ SunBear/ Copy & Paste  
> Kenta: Ken You Not?/ Clark  
> Mako: Make Me  
> Sayuki: SaSaSayonara  
> Kyoichi: EmperorPenguin/ AniEvo/ SoyBoy1  
> Shingo: Ringo/ OhShit2  
> Takeshi: ImNotEmo/ OhShit1  
> Natsuki: Natsu~/ Let’sGetThisBread  
> Wataru: What is Love?/ SoyBoy2  
> Kazumi: KaKaKa/ Kazoo Kid  
> Seiji: Evo Boi/Sage  
> Kenji: Kenned Food/ Ken Blast
> 
> Yuichi: Station to Station  
> Bunta: Tofu Man

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Boi.
> 
> So this is the beginning chapter for the Initial D chatfic that no one asked for!
> 
> It was a bit difficult starting it, but I'm on Chapter 4 and it's flowing really nicely. It's vague where in the canon it is, but it's somewhere after Second Stage, but slightly different in that Natsuki and Takumi are on good terms with each other.


End file.
